Buzzword Series

BuzzWord Series :: Week 3

This is not an indictment of Buzzwords, Jargon or neologisms. Even when this type of language is used with malice (to seem smarter and artificially elevate an argument), it has its place. It serves as a verbal “handle” that aids in the uptake of ideas. Please read on.

In week 2 we focused on Social Media Marketing terms:

  • Social Media Listening
  • Social Moderation
  • Snackable Content
  • Ad/Content Viewability

This week I wanted to pick apart some of the jargon that pollutes the so-called Culture of Innovation in the Silicon Valleys of the world.

When a company is acqui-hired, it’s purchased with the sole purpose of mining the talent within. The product and users are an immediate casualty. Why hire a bunch of people when you can just buy them!? This isn’t unique to SV but seems to happen here a lot – as these people seem to be more comfortable buying things than coaxing humans to do or believe in something.


Hack your head bro! A Noot is a chemical cocktail that brogrammers and Founders ingest daily to give them an edge. The claimed benefits are better memory, more clarity, improved focus and enhanced problem-solving abilities. “I can keep a lot of things in me head at once,” says Assknob Von Douchnozzle, chief technology officer for the San Francisco startup

The word comes from from the Greek “Noos” for “mind” and “Tropic” for Placebo Effect.

Dogfooding or to Eat Your Own Dogfood:
To test your app/service/product as if you were a end user out in the field. As it was intended to be used. By real people in real scenarios, on real devices with real cell data plans rather than as a creator or developer on a simulator, at your desk. This would have helped Pied Piper avoid the horrible interface in their beta release!

It’s a great concept with a terrible name. I don’t know the origin but I can only imagine some dog food disruptor guy eating each sample of his new product saying “If I don’t like it, neither will the dogs! DO IT AGAIN!”


I love this one. It’s a cool sounding word that handily describes the important concept of how something will ‘look’ to an outside observer. It may refer to how it reads in a press release, how employees perceive a move by management or maybe the user experience of a new app update. It’s a new way to say “but how will this look to the…” and I’m all for it.

“The optics of that decision worry me.” Shweeeet.

The Janitor:
Some truly visionary CEOs apparently list themselves as The Janitor on their LinkedIn profile as an inside joke. Then they go around saying that they’re only there to “take out the trash” and commence to fire a bunch of people. This place really is the worst.


One thought on “BuzzWord Series :: Week 3

  1. I used to work for an Assknob Von Douchefuck (actually a guy with an even dumber name than that) whatever NooTropics he was on melted enough of his brain that he started keeping his millions of dollars stuffed in mattresses and such. I agree that not all neologisms are bad, but the trend is far too prevalent. Nouning verbs and verbing nouns tends to make my head space fail to achieve synchronicity. Let’s workshop that idea.

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